wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
