guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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