Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No subtext here. People are naked.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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