I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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