We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
