The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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