3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
