You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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