The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
