8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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