she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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