it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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