lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
