its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
