It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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