THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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