Just cropdusted the office
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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