I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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