after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
