these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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