i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize