Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
