I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
