she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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