My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize