porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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