I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
