im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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