He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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