i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
