you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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