and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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