Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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