My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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