did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
