no, he came in my armpit
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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