WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize