Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me too!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My vagina just recognized that song.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
