so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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