i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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