That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
