what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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