If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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