It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
