There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
