i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
