But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
