considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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