I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
