i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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