Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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