omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
