it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
