she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize