My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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