So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
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i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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