Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
