Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
