I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
